Birthday Dicorce

I stood there in my expensive blue dress
Hoping for my father to return without a mess
In that dark November
I could feel the ember

For him and for her
Something didn’t click till after
Our lives are not fit
The divorce just makes me want to spit

For on the balcony of that perfect day meant to be spent
In a birthday card my father told me of his department
My father was gone
And my mother would force me to move on

If I Knewn Who He Really Was...

If I knew who he really was
My mind would not have given him a second buzz
He tried to take from me a gift
That only made my heart shift

A gift from god
That he thought he could rob
Yet little did he know
My mouth is like a bow

Striking him down with all I got
Not giving it a second thought
Don’t try to take from me what is min
Or I will leave you behind

Starry sky

There are so many stars in the ski

Some will stand others will fly

There are more than we can hope to see

But none compare to how much you love me

My hopes and dreams lay around

As others push them to the ground

You help me collect them all

As you never let me fall

A stars so bright gust like your smile

You can see it from over a mile

It cheers me up past the stars

Even more than a bright shiny car

So when I can’t take anymore of day to day life

I’ll look up at that starry night

Knowing I never have to truly say bye

Because I love you more than that starry ski

True Beauty

If you look in the mirror and don't see what you want

Than listen to me to let your heart flaunt

There's a simple task to see

As long as you never leave

Clear your mind 

And there you will find 

That with no fear

You need to let thy heart be thy mirror

Walking Pome

Cold and dark the ski is

Filled to the rim of winter fizz
The trees blow with a swing
All you can hear is there sweet gently ring

The leafs fall to the ground

I look in the grass to see them all around
The wind it feels so bitter cold
That life cued end as we know

The flag in the distant blows with pride

Even as I run inside
The warmth fills me with such joy
Even more than that silly boy

He tries so hard to do his best

But winter really is a mess
My heart so picky it wants what it wants
But deep inside it wants what it wants

looking after parents

When children have to "look after" their parents

You know it’s a sad truth. Some parents really can’t look after themselves yet they have a kid. Because you know it sounded like a good idea right. No it’s wrong. I hate parents who don’t know how to raise a child because they themselves are a child.

I think that growing up in a situation where I had to grow up fast (witch I do not blame my parents for at all, it was completely out of their hands, and they still tried to give me the childhood I wanted and needed) I find it hard to deal with other parents that are being childish. I think that if you really want something than you should work hard to get it. If you see that you have a problem with depression than find help.

 Now I’m waiting for that one person to say you don’t know what it’s like…yeah OK. I know what it’s like, feeling worthless like you don’t mean anything. Like every bite of food you take is hurting you. Like you can sleep for hours (23 is my record, but only because my mom woke me up) and still sleep for more. Like talking to people and smiling is forced and not like it used to be. It hurts, bad. Like no one knows what you’re going through, but there are others. They will help you, but like I said you will only get it if you want it. I wanted to be able to smile without being on a drug. I wanted to sit with my dad and not want to burst in to tears. So I got it. Don’t get me wrong I still have my days. But I have found what I needed, and that’s someone who will be there for me at only a phone call away.

So what I really wanted to get across is, don’t be a child with a kid. If you need help get it. If you’re not able to stand on your own, find someone to carry you for a little. I know how hard that can be, but do it for your kid.

If...

If i was to pick one thing that always makes me smile it would have to be a warm drink.

I love the feeling of a warm drink traveling down my throat. I know that sounds so wearied but it feels as if it's melting my pain away. I mostly like to drink warm drinks when i have a sore throat anyways. Though i love the proses of making them, I always find it fun. My favorite has to be hot coco with whip cream. I have never really liked the hot coco that is like "would you like some milk with that coco". I love a good creamy coco, it’s my little simply presser.
So if you ever see me crying or upset, and you really want to do something to help. Give me a hot coco with extra whip cream.