What now?

up up up as if I cued fly

there is the bright blue sky

there so free

were I wish I cued be

 

but I am not

for I am in the same old spot

the dead of earth

killed by mans berth

 

the gas of cars

leaving there scars

that we allowed

what do we do now

Creative Writing Final Reflection Post

1. Several of the peaces I have written mostly had to do with poetry, but there were many other posts that I did that I am very proud of, like…

The Lock and Key (A short story about a girl trying to find her match, only to end tragically with her death.)
Famous Lines Writing (A short excerpt of what cued be a book one day, about a man who is accused of murdering someone he loved and sentenced to death by sharks)
The Third Floor Bedroom (A Short story of a girl and boy who lost each other only to find one another again thanks to someone leaving the window open)
Kill Me First (A short story about a girl who is home alone only to be hunted by a demand that she soon becomes after killing it)
Dancing Innocence (A poem about a little girl dancing in the rain not worrying about growing up. Just wearing her brothers’ clothes and dancing.)
Starry Sky (A poem that starts out saying how much the other person loves you but then turns to how much you love them)
 

2. I have read mostly only my friend C’s pieces, most of them being poetry. Ones like…

Food Memory, this story made me remember my mother and the car rides we had together.
Beautiful Devil, I have to say I liked this story because it kept you on your toes a little.
I have read other things like books one of them being Dust and Decay, but this semester I haven’t found myself wanting to read as much.

 

3. I have to say the blog had helped me so much this year. I was really down all summer and this helped me get back up on my feet. Just seeing that people wanted to read what I was putting out there, mentally it gave me the push that I needed. I wish that my brother would read it, so that he cued see that I can have a future in writing even with my dyslexia.

Even just making the blog was fun, coming up with the name, joking around with friends, finding cool photos that you want to use later on. It all was so much fun. To be honest though I don’t know how I came up with Tiger Lilly. I know I wanted to use it and that Tiger Lily was already taken so I guess I just thought to myself why not put another l in there.
I do think I will keep posting on my blog though. It really has helped me to see the views keep going up.

4. Jurnaling will now always be something I want to keep doing. It’s so much fun to write in your journal. I find it a nice way to just get things out that I can’t find myself saying in real life. I hope that from this day one I will always have at least one journal on me. Right now I have two, one is filled with the stuff I did in class plus more and the other is full of stories that one day I hope to turn into books.

 

5.

 This is a day when all hope is lost.

A town flooded and threatens to take you away.

This is a man who knows what it’s like to be man’s best friend.

As he threatens is own life for his.

 

This is the day faith in humanity was restored.

 

6.

If you look in the mirror and don't see what you want

Than listen to me to let your heart flaunt

There's a simple task to see

As long as you never leave

Clear your mind

And there you will find

That with no fear

You need to let thy heart be thy mirror

 

7. I plan on trying to actually get published as a writer, hoping that money cued help me pay off collage funds or what not. I love to write, it’s something so small that can bring a smile to my face every day. So really the only thing is that I’m going to be working more on longer stories than short ones, so if I post any on my blog it will probably be poems that came to me during the day.

 

8. Even though you may walk a path of snow that has been walked before you, your still leaving your own foot print.

So basically just because someone has done something before you doesn’t mean you won’t make a difference.

New Year New Me

This year i will loss more than 50lb. I will let go of my hate, and embrace my love for others. I will honor my father and love my brother. I will stanr up and share my writing with the world!

Birthday Dicorce

I stood there in my expensive blue dress
Hoping for my father to return without a mess
In that dark November
I could feel the ember

For him and for her
Something didn’t click till after
Our lives are not fit
The divorce just makes me want to spit

For on the balcony of that perfect day meant to be spent
In a birthday card my father told me of his department
My father was gone
And my mother would force me to move on

If I Knewn Who He Really Was...

If I knew who he really was
My mind would not have given him a second buzz
He tried to take from me a gift
That only made my heart shift

A gift from god
That he thought he could rob
Yet little did he know
My mouth is like a bow

Striking him down with all I got
Not giving it a second thought
Don’t try to take from me what is min
Or I will leave you behind

Starry sky

There are so many stars in the ski

Some will stand others will fly

There are more than we can hope to see

But none compare to how much you love me

My hopes and dreams lay around

As others push them to the ground

You help me collect them all

As you never let me fall

A stars so bright gust like your smile

You can see it from over a mile

It cheers me up past the stars

Even more than a bright shiny car

So when I can’t take anymore of day to day life

I’ll look up at that starry night

Knowing I never have to truly say bye

Because I love you more than that starry ski

True Beauty

If you look in the mirror and don't see what you want

Than listen to me to let your heart flaunt

There's a simple task to see

As long as you never leave

Clear your mind 

And there you will find 

That with no fear

You need to let thy heart be thy mirror

Walking Pome

Cold and dark the ski is

Filled to the rim of winter fizz
The trees blow with a swing
All you can hear is there sweet gently ring

The leafs fall to the ground

I look in the grass to see them all around
The wind it feels so bitter cold
That life cued end as we know

The flag in the distant blows with pride

Even as I run inside
The warmth fills me with such joy
Even more than that silly boy

He tries so hard to do his best

But winter really is a mess
My heart so picky it wants what it wants
But deep inside it wants what it wants

looking after parents

When children have to "look after" their parents

You know it’s a sad truth. Some parents really can’t look after themselves yet they have a kid. Because you know it sounded like a good idea right. No it’s wrong. I hate parents who don’t know how to raise a child because they themselves are a child.

I think that growing up in a situation where I had to grow up fast (witch I do not blame my parents for at all, it was completely out of their hands, and they still tried to give me the childhood I wanted and needed) I find it hard to deal with other parents that are being childish. I think that if you really want something than you should work hard to get it. If you see that you have a problem with depression than find help.

 Now I’m waiting for that one person to say you don’t know what it’s like…yeah OK. I know what it’s like, feeling worthless like you don’t mean anything. Like every bite of food you take is hurting you. Like you can sleep for hours (23 is my record, but only because my mom woke me up) and still sleep for more. Like talking to people and smiling is forced and not like it used to be. It hurts, bad. Like no one knows what you’re going through, but there are others. They will help you, but like I said you will only get it if you want it. I wanted to be able to smile without being on a drug. I wanted to sit with my dad and not want to burst in to tears. So I got it. Don’t get me wrong I still have my days. But I have found what I needed, and that’s someone who will be there for me at only a phone call away.

So what I really wanted to get across is, don’t be a child with a kid. If you need help get it. If you’re not able to stand on your own, find someone to carry you for a little. I know how hard that can be, but do it for your kid.

If...

If i was to pick one thing that always makes me smile it would have to be a warm drink.

I love the feeling of a warm drink traveling down my throat. I know that sounds so wearied but it feels as if it's melting my pain away. I mostly like to drink warm drinks when i have a sore throat anyways. Though i love the proses of making them, I always find it fun. My favorite has to be hot coco with whip cream. I have never really liked the hot coco that is like "would you like some milk with that coco". I love a good creamy coco, it’s my little simply presser.
So if you ever see me crying or upset, and you really want to do something to help. Give me a hot coco with extra whip cream.

who are the real monsters

 

 

Monster they hid and they sneak
They attack you when you’re weak
There under your bed and in the closet
Just sitting there making me want to vomit

Where are they really
For me I see it clearly
There all in your face
No matter your race

Disguised in flesh
They promise you the best
There all around use
Not mentioning the smallest fuse

The girl down the street
Or even the guy standing in the sleet
Anyone can be the beast
Even that person who gust sneezed

It’s inside you and me
No matter how we flee
We can hide in our armor
But no matter what we are the monster

look around

Looking around I see
No one knows what it’s like to be me
They all do their daily routine
And in my head they don't know a thing

The boy no one knows holds his legs in his desk
The girl asleep getting a rest
The boy in the leather chilling with ease
The girl in the hoody looking at me

No one will know my story
No one will see my fury
How I felt
Or that I cued have melt
 
The boy in the back annoys me so deep
The girl by him who can hear my every peep
The boy in the blue drinks some water
The girl in the cameo looks around with a bother

The teacher in front doesn’t care
He tells use a story that life’s not fare
Oh how I cued yell at him and give him my palm
All I can do is pray to stay calm

The boys’ who grade I envy looks around with frustration
The girl with red hair full of concentration
The boy that plays on the football team wanting to be seen
The girl in the front row showing no sign of being mean

Oh how I wish I cued except
Even though my grade is grate
The tears from the past
Can come back so fast

The boy in the corner I want to give my palm
The girl behind him looks so calm
The boy in the bake draws on his desk
The girl in the gray holds her bag to her chest

There’s so many behind me who I can’t even see
Although many of them just annoy me
But they are still there
Even though I no longer care

On geometry how you’re so mean to me
How can the book make me want to flee
I hear the very subject and want to cry
I hear the very subject and want to fly

12/2

12 specific goals you have for the next 2 years (in complete sentences)

1) To grow out my hair until it touches the middle of my back.

2) To be going to C of O for my culinary degree.

3) To have my own car I can drive to and back from collage.

4) To me published with at least one novel.

5) To be able to not have anger when I hear the name Laura.

6) To be able to see my ex’s and not want to punch them in the face.

7) To weigh less for my health and self-stem.

8) To be able to talk about my mom and not want to cry.

9) To have seen a beach with my own eyes and not in the movies.

10) To have seen the third Hunger Games movie in IMAX 3D.

11) To be out of high school and on my way to collage.

12) To have beater spelling skills.

 

12 of the best gifts you’ve ever gotten and who each were from

1) Mr. Bunny from my mom

2) My tiger pendant necklace from my mom.

3) My American Girl doll from my grandma.

4) Sonshine my bird from my mom.

5) A my laptop from my dad.

6) My ddr from my mom and dad.

7) Snow globs from my brother

8) Boots from my dad

9) My doll house from my mom and dad

10) My ps3 from my brother

11) My zone from my mom and dad

12) Life from my mom and dad

Brownies

 

 

 

I remember so much from my life having to do with food. When I was young I would get upset because my older brother would always get to do more than me. I didn’t see why when I was younger but I do now. Pluses not being able to see over the stove helped my mom make her decision. If I cued do anything I would want to go bake to myself and say “it’s going to be ok, that I’ll have my many days in the kitchen. Even days were all I would want to do is sit down or put my feet up.”

Once I got to the age of seeing over the stove and knowing not to touch it when it’s on, my mother finely let me cook. One of the first things she tote me to make was boxed brownies. They would always come out the same, hard and dry like any other brownie. But I thought they were the best thing in the world.

As I grew my mother would let me cook even more. It got to the point to where if she didn’t want to cook she would tell me I cued. Being so young I thought this meant that she wanted me to grow in the field of cooking when it really meant that she would want to sit down with her feet up.

Sadly in a blink of an eye she had to sit down with her feet up all of the time. I started to cook all of the time and was learning to love it, even though my feet where telling me otherwise. I started to make brownies all of the time for my family. They got much better to the point of my brother even bragging to his friends about them. Saying I knew gust how to make them so that even after sitting out all night they would still be gooey in the morning. I like to joke around and say that’s how I got my second brother. I know he really isn’t my brother, but he was always over at the house on the weekends and always wanted to have brownies.

After my mother passed I became very depressed. I wouldn’t want to do a thing. That is until I would hear my dad in the kitchen cooking. I cued hear the sizzling sound of butter in a hot pan, about to become fajitas all the way down the hall where I hide in my room. The feeling of taking nothing and making something. I missed it. I knew I couldn’t live without it. Now I cook at least once a day. But my favorites are the midnight calls. Where my two brothers will come home with a box of brownie mix telling me I had no choice but to make them baronies. On the outside I was always wining saying I didn’t want to, but on the inside I loved the fact that I was able to make something that my brothers loved.

Dan in Real Life

#9 what makes someone a hottie to you?
For me to think of someone as a hottie they have to...
Be tall-no exceptions if your shorter than me than your ugly in my eyes
Have dark hair- I don’t want no beach boy
Have the muscles- I love seeing something I can hold on to when I’m scared or sad

#11where was your best hiding spot as a kid playing hide and seek?
I was called the queen of Hide and Seek. Almost no one cued find me. There was one time where my baby sitter brother and I were playing and I was in my room in my dirty close hamper with the clothes on top of me. There where holes in the side so I cued look out and see what was going on and, my brother had already been found so they were both looking for me. They looked everywhere but in the hamper and I was so quite. Than as they were leaving my room they turned off the lights and called me out saying they gave up.

#16 Marie's answer to the previous question is that she has a talent for making pancakes. What is your special talent?
I’m really good at making jewelry. I sometimes even sell it when I get the chance. I can also draw and paint pretty well.

#23 Have you ever fallen for a friend's mate? Has a friend ever fallen for yours? What happened?
Oh yes I have. Let’s gust say I won that battle. Than one time my friend did fall for my guy and well took him from me but I made shire she would never do that again. You see to me men are like meat. If I want yours than I might just take it, but if you want mine, than you best watch out because I will get my revenge... Sooner or later.

#28 Dan's brother gets over Marie pretty fast. Have you ever had trouble getting over someone?
My last ex. we were almost to our one year mark and he started being hurt by dating me because I wasn’t able to have time for a relationship. so I let him go and he said he wouldn’t date anyone ells that he would wait for me, not even two days later there was another chick on his arm.

Movies To Me

YOU ARE 92% EXTRAVERTED.
You are extraverted, outgoing, active and high-spirited. You prefer to be around people most of the time.

YOU ARE 67% AGREEABLE. You are generally warm, trusting, and agreeable, but you can sometimes be stubborn and competitive.

YOU ARE 67% CONSCIENTIOUS. You are dependable and moderately well-organised. You generally have clear goals and are able to set goals aside.

YOU ARE 67% EMOTIONALLY STABLE. You are generally calm and able to deal with stress, but you sometimes experience feelings of guilt, anger and sadness.

YOU ARE 100% OPEN TO NEW EXPERIENCES. You are open to new experiences. You have broad interests and are very imaginative.





This is what the move quiz had to say about me. I have to agree with it. I am exactly that, all though I wouldn’t say I’m 100% open to new things because there are some things out there I would so not do. Like sky diving and bungee jumping, really anything that has to do with me falling or being upside down. Strangely though I do want to go zip lining. I think that would be lauds of fun. I do find myself to be stable in my emotions, I mean yes I have my outburst sometimes, but hay I’m a girl so sue me! That aside though I am very organized, everything has a place and needs to be there. The only thing is that I’m also lazy, so the chance of everything getting to where it needs to be is very small. I thought I was a lot more agreeable than that but I guess not. Although now that I look at it, I can be pushy when it comes to making dissensions. Like how I will try to get what I want even if it’s not what you want. Extraverted, I just like the sound of that word. That is also me I am always full of energy and can even be the life of the party.

As far as this being true or not, I think it is. I mean the results are really close to how I feel and act on my day to day life. Than all of the questions seemed to be real like. So over all I would believe it.

 

Poem of Life

 

Mothering Nun

 

This is a nun

Who thought she was where she needed to be

Looking down at a goose

Braking yet another rule

 

This is the woman who would leave

To find her love

And move again

Who would have two kids to raise

And the news of her life

 

This is the face that would be gone in 20 years

As poison would flow through her veins

And her daughter would see her cry

 

This is before the cancer would take her life

Ruining her daughter at only 16

And son at 18

 

This is before photos would be all we had

Dancing Innocence

This is a girl

Without a care in the world

When beauty was a word

And living was fun

 

This is the rain

Pouring down not lightning up

Flooding the yard

And promising the girl a cup of hot coco

 

This is the home

In front of the girl

Where she would grow up

To learn so much

 

This is when dark hair and skin were nothing

Your brothers’ clothes were fun to wear

And unicorns were real

 

This is when

Her skin eyes and hair

Would all lighten

To where she would miss them so much

Was out of mind

 

This is before

Beauty was a life style

Someone would break her heart

And her mother was gone

 

This girl is me

follow your love

 Day after day

 I would go to the field

 and there it would be

 my typewriter. 

 

 The bottles shined

  with the evening sun. 

 

 I would lie in the grass

 for hours typing

 about what felt write

 that day. 

 

 Poems or stories

 I would type

 till my fingers felt

 like falling off from the cold, 

 

 or till I couldn’t see

  a thing anymore

  but not this day,  

 something was wrong

 and it felt so out of the norm

 no matter how I laid I could not write. 

 

 The only time this would happen

  to me is when I’m being watched

 a smile came to my face

 for I knew who it was.

 

 

 I called to him

 knowing just where he was

 but nothing happened. 

 

Where was he

 I thought

 his brown hair

 and blue eyes that

 followed me out here a few times.

 

 I got out

of my favorite little spot

 and walked over to the woods

 were he always hide. 

 

 I didn’t want to think

 of this day

 were he finally

stopped chasing me

 

 Was I playing too hard to get

 for too long

 did he really give up on me.

 

 I felt arms

come around me

 out of no were

 making me scream from surprise.

 

 Even though I knew

 they were his arms

and that little chuckle

 was his too

 

 I yelled at him

 for scaring a lady

 that no women

would ever fall in love

 with him if he kept acting

 like such I child.

 

 His voice

 sent shivers down my spine

 as he got close

 to whisper in my ear.

 

 that’s ok

because the right women

 already has.

 

 From that moment

 on I knew I was his

 and that he was min.